Functional with Flair

Ah well, the first sign of winter is here at last-- vile ladybugs.

Ladybugs must be natures most misunderstood bug. I see them in cartoons as nice little grandmother bugs, chubby around the middle, rosy red, and cookie baking. Some people think it’s good luck when one lands on your shoulder, they think they’re harmless and cute. Ignorant fools.

Anyone remember the movie “Arachnids”? Some guy’s house gets overrun by thousands of poisonous spiders, people are dying all over the place, and the main characters have to fight to get out of their own home alive. Well, around winter time in Ohio, ladybugs do the same damn thing.

First it’s just one you hear flying around the room, or one crawling on the counter. Then there’s one on your mirror, in your closet, on the computer, crawling around the book case. Soon those little “ones” multiply into hundreds. And these are selfless bastards too, if some have to die to make you uncomfortable, fine with them. Sacrifice part of the group so the rest can feed off your disgust and anger.

They climb into your light fixtures and die leaving dozens of brittle little corpses that will fall into your hair when you have to change a light bulb months down the road. They delight in crunching under your bare foot, floating in your bathtub, crawling around the rim of your drinking glass, or flying into your face. Also, they bite. No stinging or hissing, just tiny bites, then a little bit of yellow spit up just to really make you feel sick.

We no longer just kill one, or try and shoo them out of the house like we did the beginning of our first winter-- we vacuum them up by the dozens. Suck them from the curtains, out of the little corners in rooms, or off the ceiling.

When they land on our shoulder there are no “ohh”s or “ahh”’s or “what good luck!”. We simply flick them. The one and only good thing about ladybugs are their hard exoskeletons. They flick wonderfully and make clear and satisfying little dinks when they hit the floor or wall. It is really fairly enjoyable.

Okay, enough about ladybugs.

Here’s a fun kiddy site full of flash games if you’re bored.

http://postopia.com/games/index.aspx