Have you ever had those days that just hurt? They hurt in such a way that you can’t even feel the hurt anymore but you just know it’s there.
My Uncle is dying. He’s been dying for awhile. Not for that long…a few months maybe. He went into the hospital with some minor complaints. Next I knew, he was in a coma. Nine days later he woke up referring to his wife as “Mrs. Arafat”. Now he has been diagnosed with colon cancer, penile cancer, and has suffered uncounted heart attacks. We’ve been told that he doesn’t have long.
I’m sick of people leaving and dying and fighting.
And to help the situation, I’m chasing white wine shots with chocolate covered raisins. I’m feeling quite pathetic.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Sunday, December 12, 2004
Nobody loves me. Everybody hates me.
The Spanish homework is done.
I am alone again.
Que the "eat worms" song.
I am alone again.
Que the "eat worms" song.
I'm all alone....
I’m all alone. I have nothing to do. I went to sleep at 7:30 yesterday. 7:30 P.M!!! I haven’t done that since I was eight, or since I was last medicated before some major surgery.
--The school quarter ended (don‘t even ask how it went), and it doesn’t resume until January.
--The man I love is now physically the furthest he could possibly be from me while still being on the planet earth, and he’s not coming back until right before January. *sob*
--The Holiday Inn has decided to be “nice” and cut back my work hours (again, until January) because of the holiday season.
I basically have no life until January.
God. I have nothing to do. There are only so many times you can ….
Oh! My brother needs help with his Spanish homework! Yay, entertainment!
--The school quarter ended (don‘t even ask how it went), and it doesn’t resume until January.
--The man I love is now physically the furthest he could possibly be from me while still being on the planet earth, and he’s not coming back until right before January. *sob*
--The Holiday Inn has decided to be “nice” and cut back my work hours (again, until January) because of the holiday season.
I basically have no life until January.
God. I have nothing to do. There are only so many times you can ….
Oh! My brother needs help with his Spanish homework! Yay, entertainment!
Sunday, November 28, 2004
"Buzz" for no apparent reason
I don’t know why I’m updating now. I’ve all but given up on having any function, never the less having some flare. It’s all come down to the fact that I’ve very,
v e r y,
V E R Y,
VERY BUSY ,
and when I’m busy, I avoid doing what I have to do and spend all my time doing things that really could wait
Hold on a moment. Let me explain, because honestly, it makes perfect sense.
No.
No wait.
No, it doesn’t.
It’s the most ridiculous, self-destructive manner in which to go about living. As an example, instead of working right now and closing my shift I’m playing on the computer in the back office. Instead of preparing for my Bachelor of Art’s portfolio Review in December (the thing that decides if I get to graduate with an Arts degree or not) I’m planning a weekend trip to Canada with my boyfriend. Instead of going to class or doing homework I’m reading Genome by Matt Ridley. And it goes on and on. ( I consider it due to the four hours of sleep I’ve been averaging for the past few weeks).
On occasion, or really, more than one, I just suck.
But I do have pretty red glitter toenails! That’s at least one redeeming quality.
And everyone must have at least one of those*.
(*Redeeming qualities not toenails. You can be just fine with more than one toenail.)
P.s. I just answered the phone and hiccuped in a man’s ear.
v e r y,
V E R Y,
VERY BUSY ,
and when I’m busy, I avoid doing what I have to do and spend all my time doing things that really could wait
Hold on a moment. Let me explain, because honestly, it makes perfect sense.
No.
No wait.
No, it doesn’t.
It’s the most ridiculous, self-destructive manner in which to go about living. As an example, instead of working right now and closing my shift I’m playing on the computer in the back office. Instead of preparing for my Bachelor of Art’s portfolio Review in December (the thing that decides if I get to graduate with an Arts degree or not) I’m planning a weekend trip to Canada with my boyfriend. Instead of going to class or doing homework I’m reading Genome by Matt Ridley. And it goes on and on. ( I consider it due to the four hours of sleep I’ve been averaging for the past few weeks).
On occasion, or really, more than one, I just suck.
But I do have pretty red glitter toenails! That’s at least one redeeming quality.
And everyone must have at least one of those*.
(*Redeeming qualities not toenails. You can be just fine with more than one toenail.)
P.s. I just answered the phone and hiccuped in a man’s ear.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Sunday, October 10, 2004
“Hey Piranha! Get off my back!”
Today’s phrase heard at the good ole’ Holiday Inn:
“Hey Piranha! Get off my back!”
Again, so much happens in such a short amount of time, plus I’ve a very busy person and a horrid updater, so…. a semi decent post will be replaced today by a list.
--I ate Indian food again! Chicken Saag. Very green and yummy.
--I spent hours on a photography assignment, shot 2rolls of film, and both came up completely blank. 48 pictures gone! I keep trying not to cry.
--I saw “without a paddle”. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so long or so hard in my life. “I’ve reached my end. For two hours now I’ve been walking behind sweaty ball sac and sweaty ball sac and that’s it. I’ve reached my end.”
--I went to an art gallery show with Geoff and some artsy friends. We ate tiny brownies, lots of nuts and pretzels and pretended to be art snobs. After that we went for pizza and talked about roasting ‘nuts’ and video games.
--And I forgot about all the other stuff I’ve done. But you guys can just pretend that it was great.
Ohhhh! Geoff is the most wonderful boyfriend on earth! I just spoke to him on the phone about the fact that my photo’s didn’t turn out, and he said he’d drive up an hour to my house tomorrow morning about 5:30am to help me out before his classes start. God, I love that man.
“Hey Piranha! Get off my back!”
Again, so much happens in such a short amount of time, plus I’ve a very busy person and a horrid updater, so…. a semi decent post will be replaced today by a list.
--I ate Indian food again! Chicken Saag. Very green and yummy.
--I spent hours on a photography assignment, shot 2rolls of film, and both came up completely blank. 48 pictures gone! I keep trying not to cry.
--I saw “without a paddle”. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so long or so hard in my life. “I’ve reached my end. For two hours now I’ve been walking behind sweaty ball sac and sweaty ball sac and that’s it. I’ve reached my end.”
--I went to an art gallery show with Geoff and some artsy friends. We ate tiny brownies, lots of nuts and pretzels and pretended to be art snobs. After that we went for pizza and talked about roasting ‘nuts’ and video games.
--And I forgot about all the other stuff I’ve done. But you guys can just pretend that it was great.
Ohhhh! Geoff is the most wonderful boyfriend on earth! I just spoke to him on the phone about the fact that my photo’s didn’t turn out, and he said he’d drive up an hour to my house tomorrow morning about 5:30am to help me out before his classes start. God, I love that man.
Monday, October 4, 2004
Lookie!
Geoff came over last night. There was hanging out and computer surfing and all sorts of fun little things done to pass the time. After awhile my brother came in and plopped himself onto my bed (dirty-feet-towards-pillow first), and while Geoff was drawing we chatted. Then after a few minutes I peeked my head over and lookie what he made.
It's me!
It makes me all giddy and smiley. Doesn't he just rock?
It's me!
It makes me all giddy and smiley. Doesn't he just rock?
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