An amazing wonderful title that I just can't think of, insert here

My cat, Cleo, the bitch, woke me up, like she does every morning, at 6:30 a.m. by squeaking her paws on my door, and for some reason I’m still awake and now enjoying my gourmet peanut butter and jelly sandwich, luke warm hot chocolate, and the only thing that’s showing something other than news, VH1.

The tambourine rocks and most music videos really suck.

There’s a terrible over abundance of tall black women in bikinis and high heels that only want to wiggle and gyrate with half a dozens of their cookie cutter friends next to some short pimp guy in tacky clashing bling bling. I wanna get famous, wear plaid and a hat with a feather in it and have unusually endowed men giggle around me then show it to the world as a music video. Yeah, maybe my video will have music in it, still not sure about that bit.

Seals song from Living ‘till the End is on. Humm… yeah, this video also sucks… it could use just a little more boob giggling and some hip smacking tambourine.

It’s starting to get bright out. It’s a very wet and gray day, warm though.

Yesterday I was feeling all violent so I took it out on the three inches of ice that was covering our driveway. One girl, one hoe, lots beating and hacking at the ice. Twenty minutes later, it became, one girl, one ice chip in the eye, lots of whining and “Ow, ow, ow, look at my eye! Is it bleeding?”. It hurt like all hell and I had visions (only in one eye) of that poor guy from Ariel, bleeding from his eyes, nose, and mouth.

Of course I was told to shut up and sleep it off. Amazing how “sleeping it off” heals everything. When I woke up we were all congregating in my parents room on their bed. My mum was trying to sleep, my dad trying to watch tv, I was trying to suck sympathy, and my brother was causing trouble, stiring up the cats and dogs on the bed and threatening to poke my eye.

DAD: “Want me to rub your back, honey?”
MUM: “Let me sleep.”
DAD: “Are you sure?”
MUM: “Want me to pirece your ear with my teeth?”

So friendly.

Somehow we got on the topic of man makeup and the next thing I know Jake’s sitting on the end of my bed and I’m applying sea green and pinkish purple eye shadow to my 6 foot tall wrestler brother.

Oh dear, so much fun.

I used to dress him up like a girl tons of times when he was little, but when he got taller than me, there was no way in hell I’d be able to threaten him into a dress.

Now I’m too nice, or scared, or something to post pictures of Jake, and believe me, there were pictures, but he looked like a cross between these two pictures.

http://web2.iadfw.net/harlow/blonde.jpg

http://andreazuill.com/images/zuill/op-gretasmall.jpg

Curly blonde wig, pearls, pink shawl, fire engine red lipstick and all done by a girl who couldn‘t see out one eye. Heh, it really doesn’t take much to make me happy.

And while I was searching for “scary blonde man/woman” pictures I found this. Don’t you think with boobs that big you’d need some kind of bra?

Advanced Big 30 Personality Test Results Sociability ||||||||||||||| 42% Gregariousness ||||||||| 30% Assertiveness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Activity Level |||||||||||||||||| 58% Excitement-Seeking |||||||||||| 38% Enthusiasm |||||||||||||||||| 58% Extroversion ||||||||||||||| 49% Trust |||||||||||| 38% Morality ||||||||||||||| 46% Altruism ||||||||||||||||||||| 66% Cooperation ||||||||||||||| 46% Modesty |||||||||||||||||| 58% Sympathy ||||||||||||||| 42% Friendliness ||||||||||||||| 49% Competence ||||||||||||||||||||| 66% Neatness ||||||||||||||||||||| 66% Dutifulness ||||||||||||||||||||| 66% Achievement ||||||||||||||| 50% Self-Discipline |||||||||||| 34% Cautiousness ||||||||||||||| 50% Orderliness |||||||||||||||||| 55% Anxiety ||||||||||||||| 42% Anger ||||||||| 30% Depression ||||||||| 26% Self-Consciousness |||||||||||||||||| 54% Impulsiveness ||||||||||||||| 50% Vulnerability ||||||||||||||| 46% Emotional Stability |||||||||||||||||| 59% Imagination |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86% Artistic Interests |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% Emotionality ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Adventurousness ||||||||||||||||||||| 62% Intellect |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78% Liberalism ||||||||||||||| 46% Openmindedness ||||||||||||||||||||| 69%

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Snatched from Maystone.